They Will Kill You (2026)
I’ll start right off with the movie in the header. Two girls have to escape from a Satanist hotel or become human sacrifices so the Satanists can become immortal. Well, it’s a little more nuanced, but either you’re there for it or you’re not. I wouldn’t really call it a horror movie, it’s more a horror-comedy. If the cartoonish violence of Kill Bill bothered you, you won’t like it here either.
It was a fun enough movie to watch; I wouldn’t have paid to see it in a theater.
Old Henry (2021)
I only watched this because it starred Tim Blake Nelson. If Tim is in it, it’s going to be worth watching. Set in the Old West, an old farmer (Nelson) living in the middle of nowhere with his son comes across a dying man and a satchel of stolen money. People are going to come looking for it, and nobody is quite who they seem.
The first twist in the movie comes early, and they keep coming. It’s a brutal movie, but Nelson is in fine form.
The First Six Fast and Furious Movies
I honestly don’t know why I sometimes watch these movies. The only one worth a damn is the first one, and the only moment worth watching for is the one where Vin Diesel’s Dom Torretto discovers the friend who is dating his sister and just saved his best friend’s life is an undercover cop. He says nothing, but the expressions on his face tell the entire story. Diesel’s a great actor, and better than this movie. The others, well, I was sick and they just kept playing one after another, so…
I’d thought Tokyo Drift was the fifth or sixth movie, but it’s the third. I was confused because the events of Tokyo Drift take place after the sixth movie. Weird.
The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes
Ever wondered how Donald Sutherland’s President Snow from The Hunger Games movies got his start?
Me neither! Dunno why I watched this. I saw that Peter Dinklage was on it in the Netflix preview so I started watching, but he only had a small part. I didn’t finish it.
How to Make a Killing
A daughter is exiled from her super wealthy family when she chooses to keep a child she had out of wedlock. Her son finds, after she dies, that his grandfather’s (Ed Harris) riches will be split among all the surviving members of the family when he dies. The son decides that all he has to do it just… kill every other member of the family. Luckily they are all terrible people.
It’s a fun movie, better than I’d expected. The framing device is his confession to a priest, while on Death Row, in the hours before he is to be put to death. But he seems to believe he will not be dying…
Pitch Perfect 3
Honestly, I thought this was the one with Das Sound Machine in it. I’d enjoyed a podcast Flula Borg (real name: no, that is actually his real name) where he mentioned Das Sound Machine, and I saw this in Max but, it wasn’t 3, it was 2, and they don’t have 2 on Max so I didn’t watch it. I probably watched it at some point but don’t remember anything about it.
Hundreds of Beavers
Whatever you think this movie is about, it’s not that. It’s a near silent film that’s an homage to Looney Tunes’ Fritz Freleng and Carl Stalling starring a drunk that has to kill hundreds of beavers to win the hand of his beloved. And… the beavers will organize and fight back. They build a moon rocket at one point.
Watch it if you can.
AND NOW FOR SOME TELEVISION:
Game of Thrones
I watched the entire series from start to end. I really enjoyed it. The last couple of seasons were super rushed and differ quite a bit from what the books have covered so far (there is no Night King in the book whose death will end the White Walker threat, not yet at least). But I can believe things would eventually end in the books as they ended in the show. I think people just reflexively hate on it these days.
Into the Night
The premise of this Belgian SF drama kinda reminded me of Stephen King’s Langoliers. A NATO operative hijacks an aircraft and just demands the pilots fly west, as quickly as possible, or they’re all going to die. And he’s right — the Sun has started emitting a killing radiation that can even reach underground, and any living thing exposed to it dies. Their only salvation is to keep flying west, racing the sunrise, as long as they can.
How long can they do this before the plane needs repairs and refueling? Not long.
I only watched the first season, so not quite sure what happened to the sun. These kinds of things always have a cause. But even if they do manage to fix the sun, hard to believe a few survivors could survive if every other life on Earth is dead.
The international cast is a treasure. I watched it with everyone dubbed in English, but the passengers speak English, Polish, Italian, French, Russian etc so the communication difficulties cause problems they really can’t afford.
Beef (season 2)
A couple that run a California resort for the elite get into a fight that is recorded by an employee who is hoping to keep her job after a Korean investor buys the property. A little blackmail couldn’t hurt, but things spiral and keep on spiraling as more and more people are sucked into the swirling maelstrom of embezzlement and bad plastic surgery.
This was a deeply weird show, but I just had to keep watching. Oscar Isaac plays Josh Martín, the resort manager, a man who is just barely holding on to his sanity.
I didn’t realize this was the second season of the show; apparently there was a first season with a different cast. I’m going to have to look that one up.
If anyone saw Chris Pratt in any of these, please let me know. We don’t need another Passengers incident.
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